So… in visiting this page, ask yourself: Are you looking for teh free horror, teh free crymes, or teh freeeeee pr0n0?

Probably teh free pr0n0. Everybody loves teh free pr0n0. Then wait for it, beeyatch.

Teh H0rr0r, Teh H0rr0r:

One Cold Grey October in Tuscvari: Sassy Pullman, mayor of the small Alaskan town of Tuscvari, is not what’s colloquially known as a nice person. She’s advocated hunting wolves automatic weapons, called the President a very dirty word on television, and wants to have the Army hunt down and kill all terrorists, including Hollywood producers who put out R-rated teen sex comedies. So why is everyone in the state voting for her? Bigfoot knows. And when one hippie couple visits Tuscvari from San Esteban, California — they find out, too, and let’s just say Sassy Pullman ain’t polling well because of her debating skills.

Love Me Tender: Fado was a world famous artist, acclaimed for his use of, er, innovative materials in his paint. So why is he cruising across the Nevada desert with a cheesy little boywhore, pursued by an art critic with a handgun? A little slurp of gay Lolita in Vegas, people.

Merry Christmas, Motherfucker: The Fat Man spends one night each year delivering his neoimperialist propaganda to children all over the world — until one cracked commando and his transgender girlfriend rev their Caddy and set out to make a dent in his dark agenda.

Headturner (excerpt): An excerpt of a collaboration with Kevin Andrew Murphy, first published in Paul Sammon’s Splatterpunks 2. A transwoman named Trona meets up in a bar with a hot lady tranny chaser who can make all her dreams come true… if that shit ever happens to you, friends, I hope your demented night of passion does not end as badly as Trona’s does, which is about as badly as any trannychaser one-night-stand can end.

….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand okay, thanks for waiting through the fine literature on my list. Now here be the pr0n0, filthmongers:

Erotic Fiction – These links are intended for adult readers/listeners. If you are under the legal age of adulthood in your jurisdiction, you are forbidden from accessing them.

• Anything I Want (Audio)
• Creatures of the Night
• Jack and Ginger
• Slam Dance
• Summer Rain (Audio)
• Two Guys and a Girl
• Under My Thumb

• Avril’s Name (Audio)
• The Confessor
• Phone Sex
• Phone Sex (Audio)