Night Bazaar: Good Night, Mrs. Calabash, Wherever You Are

Over at The Night Bazaar, I’ve posted my final column:

This is my final column for The Night Bazaar. The blog was conceived as a way to promote writers who had books coming out from Night Shade in 2011, and next year it’ll be promoting writers who have books coming out from Night Shade in 2012, so that puts me on the night train to the big adios, suckers.

Thanks to Courtney for getting this blog up and running — it’s been a blast. And it’s been a pleasure to blog with talents like Bradley, Kameron, John, Stina, Katy, and Martha, not to mention our brilliant parade of guest bloggers.

I haven’t got the foggiest idea what the new year will hold for me, writing-wise, since the novels I’m currently working on are not yet sold. I hope to work with Night Shade again, but not every book works for every publisher, and it really isn’t anything personal. So in the meantime, here’s where you can find me in the year to come.

Read the rest of this column at The Night Bazaar.

Hellhound on my Trail

From this week’s Night Bazaar column, my second-to-last:

This week’s topic is  ”What was the year like for you as a writer.” Such a topic is dangerous for me. It encourages me to navel-gaze, something I’m far too good at. So, honoring the mood of the season, I’ll try to keep it moderately brief, and hopefully maudlin as hell.

2011 was the third year I’ve lived without a day job (though the first year, 2009, was a partial one). I like it. I’ve also loved my day jobs, but there’s something exceedingly “special” — in both its ironic and non-ironic senses — about being able to focus totally on reading and writing.

And when I say reading and writing, that’s what I mean. Reading is the side of the writing life that I never thought I’d like so much, and for me, it has to be a daily occurrence, or I lose a sense of what I’m here for.

Read the rest of this column at The Night Bazaar.

Two SF/Fantasy Predictions for 2012

From my new column at The Night Bazaar:

Genre Trends for 2012

I’m notoriously bad at staying on top of trends in any medium.

This is true of music, literature, art and design, technology, movies, TV…Sometimes I’m way ahead of the curve; sometimes I’m well behind it. I joined Friendster and Tribe before Facebook existed — but when I design a website, it looks like the 1996 has risen from the grave to wreak its bloody vengeance on the universe.

Regardless, you can consider yourself guaranteed that whatever’s trendy this year, I’ve either never heard of it or I’m annoyed by it. If I ever liked it, I’ve lost interest in it, and I disapprove of people who are now into it. It doesn’t matter what trend it is; if you’re into it now, I either have no interest in discussing it with you, or I think your a mope for liking it.

It’s nothing personal. I’m not trying to be “cool,” I’m just funny that way. So if you mention your cool proto-coalpunk corset or how you’re writing a Gothic pinot noir mystery, and I roll my eyes, you don’t have to worry that you’ve made a social faux pas. On the contrary, you’re in good company: people whose trendy obsessions I disapprove of; it’s a very large club.

Plus, you can rest easy knowing that whatever trendy topics you’re into right now, I’ll be into it five years from now, and I may have forgotten that I ever disapproved of it.

Then, you can feel free to pull the same shit on me.

Read the rest of this column at The Night Bazaar.

These Japanese Girls Are The Future of Dance

In case you haven’t seen it…here. These two girls in Japan are the future of dance. Just thought you’d like to know. You’re welcome.
 


 
Incidentally, the whole thing goes on for five minutes and seventeen seconds. You may get the idea after considerably less than that, but believe me…the fact that they can keep this gig up that long (and at least partially on fast forward — meaning it took even longer in person) is one of the most amazing things about this. I stand in awe of their enthusiasm for…uh…moving around, and stuff.

Via Polly Superstar.

Rocky Horror Picture Show Matryoshkas

There’s so much I find overwhelmingly creepy about these Rocky Horror Picture Show matryoshka dolls on Etsy.

Maybe it’s because in my RHPS matryoshka nightmares, Frank ‘N’ Furter, the biggest doll, could be seen here as sort of devouring the smaller dolls, Jonah-and-the-whale style — starting, disturbingly enough, with Riff Raff…who doesn’t even really seem like he’d be that into it.

Or maybe it’s because Janet has been made so small — which threatens to give the by-necessity-enormous Brad kind of a pedophile vibe. Which only makes me think that the size differential between Frank and Janet is even creepier, which is when I remember she also fucked Rocky — and that shit was actually her idea. And then, Frank fucked Rocky. And Frank did Brad. They’re all a whole lot smaller than Frank, and it’s creepy. Creepier than the whole thing was to begin with, even. Plus, Chubby Riff Raff really doesn’t work for me. And where the hell is Meat Loaf?

Or maybe it’s just because they’re, you know, creepy.

For $180, you can have your very own set, from bobobabushka. Or, if you’re tight on funds for your creepy matryoshka collection, “Convo me if you prefer the non-deluxe set, which is a smaller set of five without Brad and Janet.”

Incidentally, bobobabushka sells “nesting dolls with attitude,” including such delights as the cast of Absolutely Fabulous, and — believe it or not — the whole gang from Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic.

My favorites are Satan’s Schoolgirls, The Addams Family, and Spinal Tap.

 

 

Kindle Edition of Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples

I’m excited to announce that my very good friend Violet Blue has released a Kindle edition, fully revised and updated, of Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples, which was published some years back in print by Daedalus Publishing.

The new edition has expanded chapters, a new story and a breathtaking new cover by Steve Diet Goedde. For a limited time, it’s being offered as part of Kindle Select, which means it can be borrowed by anyone subscribed to Amazon Prime. Violet covers a bit in her post about the matter here — this link, incidentally, is not safe for work.

Fetish sex is packed not only with great information to help couples explore their kinky fantasies, but also an assortment of hot stories by yours truly, illustrating some of the chapters. As Violet says about the book:

My book Fetish Sex began as an indiepub cult classic, and has now been completely updated, revised and expanded to include every kind of sexual fetish imaginable. This book defines and explains more real-life sexual fetishes than anyone has imagined to date. The book features explicit short erotic stories by Thomas Roche and a beautiful new cover by Steve Diet Goedde.

This meticulously researched and greatly increased second edition makes Fetish Sex the most comprehensive factual and practical book on sexual fetishes available.

Think you might have a fetish? This guide tells you if you do, or not. And if you do, this is where to learn how to make the most of it in safety, pleasure and answers questions about sharing fetishes.

The compendium also features erotica by novelist Thomas Roche, graphically illustrating sex with different fetishes. Resources include websites, fetish entertainment, etiquette, safety, books, communities, advice for non-fetishists that are in a relationship with a fetishist, and information on finding fetish-aware therapists. Fetish Sex is a guide for understanding, controlling and making the most of a fetish, whether alone or with a partner. Because the truth is, “normal” sex is exactly the kind of sex you enjoy.

Link to Violet’s blog (NSFW).

Buy on Amazon.

[Night Bazaar] How I Found My Strengths as a Writer

From my new column at The Night Bazaar, about finding your strengths and weaknesses as a writer:

I’m far from convinced there’s any such profession as “writer” anymore; we’re all multi-taskers, by definition.

But there is this thing called “writing,” yes, and occasionally I get to do it.

When it comes to writing itself, I like to believe that my strengths are far more numerous than my weaknesses.

But it’s quite possible that I’m kidding myself.

What I do find is that the more I write, the less my strengths matter and the more my weaknesses do. That’s because writing a lot of fiction puts me face-to-face with every possible roadblock in my creative process, and every roadblock is a potential “debunking” of my strengths. It doesn’t matter how great I can write X type of scene, if Y type of scene keeps me from ever finishing my novel.

As a result, all that my strengths do is allow me to get past the weaknesses, or manage them effectively. That’s great news, yeah, but if I take the time to celebrate my strengths, it only slows me down.

Here’s an example.

Read the rest of this post at The Night Bazaar.

[Night Bazaar] Child Soldiers and Zombie Apocalypses

Today, I posted a piece at The Night Bazaar about writing my young adult zombie novella “Deepwater Miracle”:

I discovered something fascinating to me as I got myself into the mindframe of a young adult protagonist, viewed through the lens of a young adult story. I managed to infuse my tale with pieces of moral ambiguity, but I knew that, at core, it all had to boil down to an essentially coherent worldview. I felt like I couldn’t leave the reader with bitterness or an eerie sense of injustice…somehow, I had to show up in the closing paragraph with some flavor of hope.

I don’t know if it’s strange or wonderful — or possibly both — that I was helped in this endeavor by reading a number of books written by young people who, when they were younger, were forced to live through experiences that far outstrip the nightmares I could ever come up with.

When I wrote “Deepwater Miracle,” I had just finished reading War Child by Sudanese rapper Emmanuel Jal and A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Child Soldier by Sierra Leone’s Ishmael Beah. I would think that neither of these books should possibly be recommended reading for young people, but then again, didn’t we all used to read The Diary of Anne Frank?

In any event, what I took away from these two books — both first-person autobiographies of child soldiers — was a sense that, however awful the experiences a teen goes through, they see it through a teen’s eyes. This, I think, is one of the reasons that witnessing violence early in life is so deeply affecting to kids; later, after the threat of violence has (hopefully) receded, their context for growing up is forever altered.

Read the rest of this post at The Night Bazaar.

A Rainbow in the Night: The Tumultuous Birth of South Africa

A Rainbow in the Night: The Tumultuous Birth of South Africa by Dominique Lapierre is, ultimately, a good book about a great story. It is only “good,” in and of itself, rather than “great,” because while parts of it are amazing, and all of it tells an amazing story, too much of it tells an amazing story in overwrought, hand-wringing fashion….like far too much writing about South Africa.

The main problem with it is that it begins as a fairly objective, fairly reasonable and very well-told history of South African history pre-World War II (which is back when the racism that would become Apartheid was not yet formalized).

That’s good — it’s going strong. The bad news is that it turns about halfway through into a hagiography of the poor. It’s also a hagiography of Mandela, which I feel like I’ve heard a thousand times. The real messy story feels like it’s avoided in favor of pouring out overwrought prose about how hard it was to be black during the Apartheid era. I’m already fairly clear that it blew pretty seriously. That’s why I’m reading a book on South Africa in the first place. Lapierre hits too hard on the same old messages of martyrdom, which makes this book not an effective history.

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t think “objective” makes a lot of sense when it comes to Apartheid, racism or Afrikaans-dominated South Africa. But I also don’t need to be beaten to death with overheated, overwrought, hand-wringing prose about the troubles of the poor. I read a LOT of books on Africa, and I see the kind of heartfelt, weepy prose engaged in here to be borderline condescending. It’s not intended that way, sure. But certainly many African writers express a deep-distaste for the hand-wringing of the West vis-a-vis Africa, and this book seems to be guilty of that. Lapierre is sort of the chief of it, having written a number of very good but very overwrought pieces of tragedy tourism (Five Past Midnight in Bhopal, for instance, and his magnum opus City of Joy). With Joy, he certainly did the right thing…spending part of the proceeds of the book to set up a foundation to help the poor of Calcutta — whom the book is about. I don’t fault his impulses, only his execution, in City of Joy as well as Rainbow in the Night. It’s not that he’s done anything wrong as that the way he does it, to some extent, dehumanizes rather than humanizes the poor of the developing world — at least to Lapierre’s Western audience.

I understand that Lapierre (and presumably his translator…not sure if this was written in English or French) are trying to communicate the agonies of being poor and black in South Africa — which are EXTREME today and were vastly more so during the Apartheid era. But I found the overdone prose in certain sections to be somewhat insulting in its obviousness.

That said, however, Lapierre’s heart is in the right place, and it’s the most accessible (and actually LEAST overwrought) thing I’ve read to-date on South Africa. The struggle the black South Africans, Mandela included, went through is amazing. I do wish there had been less hagiography and more, for instance, about the Zulu nationalist movement to the North, which opposed the African National Congress, and the criminal elements that flourished in the slums in the context of rampant soul-crushing poverty; it is in THOSE elements, it seems to me, that South Africa’s contemporary troubles have their origin.

We can attack the white Afrikaaner fascist racist murderers all we want. But as Michael Moorcock said, “All tyrants are pretty much the same, but there are many kinds of victims.” By spending the second half of this book making the racist demons as demonic as possible and the black South Africans saintly, I feel Lapierre has missed the real story in the ongoing triumph and tragedy of the struggle in post-colonial Africa overall, not just in South Africa. The result is an immensely readable book but one that’s a bit hard to take seriously as history, insofar as it concerns the Apartheid period itself (after World War II).

Speaking of which, why is this subtitled “The Tumultuous Birth of South Africa?” The author’s intention is to establish that the period from the landing of the first Dutch settlers on the Cape to the establishment of pluralist democracy is *ALL* the birth of South Africa…but out of context, it’s a little bewildering of a subtitle. It seems like it misleads the potential reader a bit.

The book still gets an honored place on my bookshelf, principally because I think it’s SO accessible that I hope it’ll be read by people who wouldn’t tackle a denser book or a more nuanced history about South Africa. The struggles the black South Africans and the Apartheid-opposing whites, Indians, those of mixed race etc. went through should be known to every person of conscience everywhere in the world.

Therefore, my nitpicks aside, if a zillion people read this book the world will be a much better place, and for that alone it gets some extra credit.

When all is said and done, it is an inspiring book and well worth reading.

Argentinian LGBT Rights PSAs

 

The above Argentinian PSA got me all verklempt. It shows a series of transgender Argentinians talking about how it feels to have the name on one’s ID not match one’s identity…With its perky, music, straightforward speech and from-the-heart feel, it celebrates trans rights beautifully…and it’s on television.

Read the rest of this post (and see 3 more Argentinian PSAs) at Tiny Nibbles.